Ohh God...

O God tell my mom not to waste water !!!

Management Lesson !!!

 

Nice Story: Current situation in IT industries

 

 

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

 

Ruling party XYZ said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then ruling party XYZ said,  "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

 

Then ruling party XYZ said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

 

Then ruling party XYZ said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

 

Then ruling party XYZ said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

 

Then ruling party XYZ said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they lay off the night watchman.

 

 

Moral of the story: "Current situation in IT industries"

 

 

 

L E M O N J U I C E

 

L E M O N J U I C E 
 
 
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the  strongest man around that they offered a Rs 10,000  bet. The bartender would squeeze a  lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand  the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one  more drop of juice out would win the money. Many  people like weight-lifters, wrestlers, body  builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could  do it. 

 

 One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing  thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny,  squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the  laughter had died down, the bartender said OK,  grabbed a  lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the 
wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. 

 

But the ! crowd's laughter turned to total silence  as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and  5-6 drops fell into the glass.

As the  crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and  asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? 

Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" 
"No," replied the man. 
"I work as a project manager in a software company !! "

A heart touching story of a child who lost his mother and sister...

Dedicated to all Mom’s and their children!!

 

I got this story through forward mail, Spend some time to read this! Really touching!

I was walking around in a Big Bazar store making shopping, when I saw a Cashier talking to a boy couldn’t have been more than 5

or 6 years old. The Cashier said, ‘I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll. Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ”Aunty, are you sure I don’t have enough money?”

I counted his cash and replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy the dolll, my dear.”

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

‘It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much. Iwanted to Gift her for her BIRTHDAY. I have to give the doll to my mommy so

that she can give it to my sister when she goes there. His eyes were so sad while saying this. ‘My Sister has gone to be with God.

Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too,  so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.

” My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: ‘I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until

Read More…

Missing Old College Life

Here I am sitting in my office @ night
Thinking hard about life
How it changed from a maverick college life to strict professional life...
 
How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly pay checks
but then why it gives less happiness.
 
How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why there are less people to use them
 
How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger...?
 
Here I am sitting in my office @ night
Thinking hard about life
 
How it changed.
 
How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on
but then why there are less places to go on
 
How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away..
 
How a limited prepaid card changed to post-paid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages
 
Here i am sitting in my office @ night
Thinking hard about life
How it changed...
 
How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment.
 
How an old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on.
 
How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate
But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz..
 
Here i am sitting in my office @ night

 

-A Software Engineer

 

FW: Magical frog : A cool story, full with fun...

 

 

Magical frog     A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.  She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.  The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."  The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed  to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"  The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.  The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make Your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "  The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, -she's the most  beautiful woman in the world!  For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.  The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,  "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."  So, -she's the richest woman in the world!  The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."  Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.  Attention female readers: This is the end of the story for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.  Male readers: Please scroll down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!  Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really  smart.  Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show  PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!

 

 

 

 

 

Mental Asylum : difference between an objective and actions

 

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, “What is the criteria that define a patient to be institutionalized?”

“Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon."

No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the drain plug."

He flunked..... .....

There is a difference between an objective and actions! Unless you understand your objective, you will be wasting your time in your actions.

Always know your objective first

 

 

Softwarism : Funny

 

 

..... ......... ......... ......... ......... .... Chandrababuism You have two cows in Vijayawada . You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad . Jayalalithaism You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa. .." and fall at your feet. Karunanidhiism You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew . . Gandhism You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk. Indiraism You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows. Lalooism You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them. Rajnikantism You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth. Sardarism You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk. Softwarism: (Ultimate.... .) Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them. 1 .. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off) 2 .. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan) 3 .. Then prepare how to milk them (Design) 4 .. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework) 5 .. Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC) 6 .. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2 7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework) 8 .. Redo step 4 9 .. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over) 10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing) 11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there. 12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls 13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing) 14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test) 15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk 16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue) 17. Again you slog and send it with good performance. 18. Client is happy??? By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!   __

 

India Got Cheapest Laptop.

So here is the news that India, yes our India is going to have the cheapest laptop. Yes cheaper then the bicycle. The price of this laptop will be US$10. Higher Education Secretary R.P. Agrawal has made these announcement in Tirupati. He also said that it be available in six months. And this is part of inidan government policy to push the higher education.
I am really feeling sooooooo sad about the fact that i came out of college so early, at least before the launch of this laptop. …………. i could have watched lot more movies, and could have had lot more fun… any way, i am dead sure that all of my juniors and their juniors and entire fourth coming generation is going to have lots and lots of fun.

Interesting thing you can do with laptop(strictly for fourth coming student generations)

Any way i think, i should teach something to fourth coming student generation with this cheapest laptop so that they can have all sort of fun which i couldn’t, so here are some interesting thing you can do with this lil compu:

1. Download all sort of movie from all over the world, in your boring History/Physics/Math classes
2. Download wallpaper of your favorite actress/actor(depends upon your interest), from lot of sites free of cost, and keep them in your lappy near your heart in short break during classes
3. Connect with the people(using orkut of myspace etc..) from around the world seating outside the classes(if u dont have mood to study inside the class, you can learn the culture of world outside the class )
4. Connection with more people means better chance of finding boy/girl(depends on your interest) friend across the world.
5. From above we can derive that before you have scope of having boy/girl friend in your village or locality, but my friends now no discrimination based on country, region or religion, you have all the power. Rule the world
6. If you already have one (GF/BF), then wait for nothing, gift her/him this laptop, and have chat in all of your classes, while seating on backbench, now no need to fear his sister or mother OR her brother or father. No need to take pain of writing love letter and searching some postmen to post the letter, your lil laptop is nothing but angel for you in this situation.
7. Search google for all interesting stuff which you never could.
8. Take all above suggesstions on your own risk (after all you have grown up, you are owner of you laptop, learn to take responsiblity). Why should i suffer for all your enjoyment.

Read More Here

 

Heights of Optimism...

Heights of Optimism...

Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies",
Major: "Excellent! We can now attack in any direction!



What is the height of mixed emotions???
when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes!!!!



Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.



Bhikari : sahab ek rupiya de do.
Sahab : tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte.
Bhikari : abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?




Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."





Today a phone without wire is fashion.
One day will come when human without brain will be a fashion.
On that day, my friend, u will Rock.

The CLR has been unable to transition from COM context ....for 60 seconds. The thread that owns the destination context/apartment is most likely either doing a non pumping wait or processing a very long running operation without pumping Windows messages.

Error Message:

“The CLR has been unable to transition from COM context 0x1979d8 to COM context 0x197868 for 60 seconds. The thread that owns the destination context/apartment is most likely either doing a non pumping wait or processing a very long running operation without pumping Windows messages. This situation generally has a negative performance impact and may even lead to the application becoming non responsive or memory usage accumulating continually over time. To avoid this problem, all single threaded apartment (STA) threads should use pumping wait primitives (such as CoWaitForMultipleHandles) and routinely pump messages during long running operations.”

You get this nasty error message and your life is sucked. This happens when you are debugging your application and using breakpoints.

 

Fix For The Problem:

Go to menu Debug->Exception-> a form appears. Then in Managed Debug Assistants section, just uncheck the ContextSwitchDeadlock.

 

Note:

If you are not able to see Exception MenuItem in debug menu, then add it from Tools->Customize->Commands.

.